Being Left Out of a Family Get Together- A Conversation Between Ryan and John Anthony, September 8, 2021
After being away since April, 2021, it is great to be back. This is a different format than what I have done in the past. To get a direct explanation of the Tools I teach go back to my first podcasts. Below is a written description of how to give RUACAT to yourself and others.
To alleviate the unhappiness and suffering in my life, I need to learn how to become conscious of my fears and how to recognize and heal my emotional wounds. Then I need to learn how to give love to myself - love that maybe I did not get from my family of origin. Love, that is in the form of Respect, Understanding, Acceptance, Caring, Appreciation and Trust (RUACAT). I benefit by taking these actions, regardless of which side of a conflict I am on.
Respect is when I don’t do anything I don’t want to do or allow someone else to do something to me that I don’t want done to me. Then I am showing respect to myself.
Understanding requires listening, and whom I have to listen to is myself. I need to listen to my thoughts and feelings as well as be aware of my behaviors. When I pay attention to these things I am giving myself understanding.
Acceptance is to accept myself just as I am. Not as soon as I gain 5 lbs. or lose 5 lbs. not as soon as I get that goal accomplished, but to accept me right now just as I am with all my wounds and mistakes.
Caring is when I make sure that I eat right, get plenty of rest and exercise, keep my mental and physical hygiene up and keep my environment clean.
Appreciation is when I look at who I am being and who I have been, and acknowledge to myself the value of it all.
Trust is when I believe I will be able to do what I need to do when I need to do it, that I will think of the right thing to do at the right time, that things will work out and I will do what I need to do to make it happen.
When I do these six things for myself, I am giving love to myself. I am turning my love light on. When I do so, the Light of my Love makes the Darkness of my Fear go away. When I work through my fear this way, then I am in control of it and I have eliminated the source of my emotional pain. If I have no emotional pain, I do not have to resort to the emergency-escape- valve emotion of anger and then choose to hurt others as my way of attempting to stop my emotional pain.
Copyright ©2000 by John Anthony Bochnowicz. RUACAT is a Registered Trademark of the SAFE Counseling Program, Inc. SAFE Counseling Program, Inc. 215-750-0323 www.SupportiveAlliance.com Contact@SupportiveAlliance.com